Dead? No. I just hurt my back, I’m not dead.

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It’s another multi-sensory outdoor spectacular this week, featuring special guest presenter THE WIND, who seems intent on making everything completely inaudible. If only we could have foreseen that it might be windy by the sea… Between the blustering crackles come reviews of brainless action bollocks The Expendables 3 and psychological horror Jacob’s Ladder. And nestled between the reviews like a stray peanut that’s fallen into an ample cleavage there’s a fabulous Sylvester Stallone quiz. So, grab yourself a 99 cornet and apply the sun cream because we’re taking you to the beach to talk films and be mildly intimidated by seagulls for THE JT MOVIE PODCAST, EPISODE 63!

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No one cares about the man in the box, the man who disappears…

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We do take you to all the finest places. Continuing our theme of ‘podcasting on location’, this week we’re broadcasting from… *drumroll*…in the car, parked outside the Tees Valley Chinese Community Centre! And later, there’s a podcasting first as we podcast in a moving vehicle. Hmm, sounds seedy when it’s written down…Anyway! First up from the vault, it’s time to catch a bullet, chisel off a couple of fingers and ask David Bowie to make you a peculiar machine with sci-fi magic thriller The Prestige.  And then, owing to having tickets to an advanced preview, we give our thoughts on upcoming disaster spectacular Into The Storm. A man got sucked into a flaming tornado. It had what we needed…DOWNLOAD THE JT MOVIE PODCAST, EPISODE 62, NOW!

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They were definitely dead… but they came back to life!

Versus

Another week, another two films, another uncontrollable laughing fit that needs to be edited out of the podcast…First up this week it was a trip the cinema to see everyone’s favourite man-beast The Rock star as Hercules. But no ordinary Hercules, this is the film that debunks the myth by making the titular character less ‘son of a God’ and more ‘everyday Joe’. So I guess it is the ordinary Hercules. Like if Superman was just ‘Man’. Anyway, after that Jones’s knowledge of the aforementioned Dwayne Johnson is put to the test with 5 gruelling questions on the man formally known as Flex Kavana. Or was it Rip Bullwinkle? Or Shred Stevens? Then we move on THE VAULT. And this week its supernatural undead yakuza action horror fantasy nonsense Versus. So, find a clearing in a forest, watch the dead rise, kill them again, eat a heart, punch a hole clean through a man’s head, run away, come back, pay no attention to continuity or a structured narrative and achieve all of this on e budget of around 11p before DOWNLOADING THE JT MOVIE PODCAST, EPISODE 61, NOW!

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How much does your life weigh?

Up in the Air http://teaser-trailer.com

Sixty episodes? Its a veritable diamond jubilee. And where better to celebrate than by the Tees, for another outdoor podcasting adventure. Dodging ice cream vans and a large dog that I had to edit out of the podcast, the chaps discuss The Vault film first, with Jones having chose the George Clooney dramady Up In The Air. After that and a brief pondering of what an NHS exorcism would be like, the chaps head off to the cinema to see The Purge: Anarchy and later record there musings. So, grab a shotgun, plank-with-a-nail-in-it, garden scythe or whatever your favoured weapon of choice is before DOWNLOADING THE JT MOVIE PODCAST, EPISODE 60, NOW!

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Your mother sacks cooks in Hull!

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It may be the holiday season, but the boys at the JT never take a vacation from churning out a crappy…I mean, erm, awesome podcast. First up Taylorson offers a quick opinion on the newly-released animated sequel How To Train Your Dragon 2. And then its crunch time. Jones loves The Apes. Taylorson – not so much. They’ve both seen Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, but what will they think. Will anyone survive? And what will be left of them? But this week THE BULK of the podcast is dedicated to the 1973 demonic possession classic The Exorcist. So, utilise a crucifix in an unorthodox manner, undergo horrendous medical tests, regurgitate a can of pea soup, levitate, gyrate and then turn your head 360 degrees before DOWNLOADING THE JT MOVIE PODCAST, EPISODE 59, NOW!

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Surely my delinquent sister won’t ruin my pretentious middle-class wedding?

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This week the chaps decide to withdraw from the public eye, opting not to don the Kevlar and record in central Middlesbrough. Instead they return to where it all began – The Jones Studios – to bicker over the microphone like an old married couple. First up, Jones dislikes Her and Taylorson tolerates The Pit, akaJug-Face. Then theres this week’s cinema pick – twee, aimless, musical bilge Begin Again. And from the vault, bringing with it the ghosts of 500 Days of Summer, comes Rachel Getting Married. So, have an army of bohemian musicians round for the weekend, wee in a pot, crash the car and use a suprise pregnancy to win an arguement before DOWNLOADING THE JT MOVIE PODCAST, EPISODE 58, NOW!

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“Remember me, please. Don’t forget me.” *much weeping ensues at home*

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The boys are back, hanging tough and again, out ‘on location’. This time in York. In BHS. Where all the renowned creative-types meet. And first up, will it be less ‘third times a charm’ and more ‘fourth times a tolerable intergalactic, shape-shifting, robot action-flick’ for Jones? Find out as the chaps review Transformers: Age of Extinction. Next, there’s a high-octane quiz round as Taylorson throws Jones 5 questions on the life and times of Tom Cruise. Then its on to THE VAULT, for Spanish downbeat drama Biutiful. So, eat Weetabix and pretend its hamburgers, give careful consideration when bulk-buying heaters, cope manfully with your estranged bi-polar, alcoholic, prostitute wife and ask your father to make the sounds of the sea, and wind, and then together before DOWNLOADING THE JT MOVIE PODCAST, EPISODE 57, NOW!

Click to listen via LibsyniTunes or Stitcher Radio!